The Three Things That Actually Matter When You Are Building Something

This month’s blog was written from the ICU waiting room at Banner University Hospital.

I want you to picture it, because the visual matters.

I am sitting in a room full of people who love someone on the other side of a set of double doors. Everyone is quiet in that way you only get when the stakes are high. A nurse just told me that Chris went on bypass. I have a couple of hours before the next call. The one where they tell me his heart is beating on its own again.

In front of me is my computer. Twenty seven tabs open.

We just interviewed three possible new candidates for the team. Two more interviews are scheduled today.

I finally handed those off to someone else because while I want to meet every person who joins Tandem, I do not have it in me right now.

Three clients have small fires they are hoping we can help put out.

One of our team members’ dad just went into the hospital. I should probably check in on that.

Tandem is in a scale up season.

Exactly what we planned for at the beginning of the year.

Exactly what we wanted.

Chris’s heart surgery was not planned.

It was not forecasted.

It was not on the roadmap.

But it is happening.

And Chris is my person.

He is my priority. 

So here I am. Living the juxtaposition.

The business cannot stop just because life showed up loudly. And life does not pause just because the business is growing. This is the tension most leaders live in, whether they talk about it or not.

Over the years, I have noticed something consistent among the most successful clients we work with. And by successful, I do not mean flashy. I mean enduring. Steady. Building something that actually lasts.

They do not share the same tactics.

They are not chasing the same trends.

They didn’t find the mythical hacks.

They share three traits.

Trait 1: A Vision That Goes Beyond Money

Let’s say the quiet part out loud.

Wanting to make money is not a vision. It is an outcome.

Money is important. It fuels growth. It creates margin. It allows you to pay people well and sleep at night. But it cannot be the thing that carries you when everything else feels heavy.

The leaders who do best have a vision that holds even when revenue dips. Even when the season stretches longer than expected. Even when the cost of building feels personal.

They know why they are doing this. Who they are serving. What problem they are committed to solving in the world. That vision becomes the anchor when everything else feels uncertain.

When you are sitting in a hospital waiting room trying to decide which problem gets your energy first, money alone is not enough to guide you.

Trait 2: Gritty Commitment

Commitment is not how excited you are at the beginning.

Commitment is doing the thing you said you would do long after the feeling that inspired it has worn off.

It is showing up after the first failure. And the fifth. And the hundredth.

It is continuing when the results are slower than promised and the feedback is sharper than expected.

Every successful person I know who has built something meaningful has had moments where quitting would have been the logical choice.

The calendar was full.

The pressure was high.

Life was asking for more than they thought they had.

The difference is not that they never considered stopping. It is that they stayed.

They stayed in the work. They stayed committed to the vision. They stayed willing to take the next step even when the path ahead was unclear, and even if it meant taking tiny baby steps because that's all they had in them .

Trait 3: An Unwavering Willingness to Get Messy

We all want clarity. We all want clean plans and smooth execution. That desire makes sense.

But it is also unrealistic.

Anything worth building will ask you to stretch beyond your comfort zone. It will expose gaps in your systems. It will test your leadership. It will force you to grow faster than you planned.

Big dreams come with big friction.

Getting messy does not mean being careless. It means being honest about what it actually takes to build something real. It means letting go of the fantasy that it will ever feel fully controlled or perfectly timed.

Right now, Tandem is growing.

That growth is the result of months of intentional work.

And at the same time, life has thrown a plot twist I did not see coming.

The only way forward is through the mess.

Through delegation.

Through trusting the team.

Through leaning on the systems we built when things were calm.

This is the part no one puts on a landing page.

Many people want to build a business. Far fewer understand that it will test your resolve daily.

Creating money is not the hard part. Creating a brand that creates value, that endures seasons, that holds people well while life happens, that is the real work.

A Pause to Locate Yourself

Before you close this tab or move on to the next thing pulling at your attention, take a minute. Not to fix anything. Just to notice.

Ask yourself these three questions and answer them honestly. No one else has to see them.

What is the vision I am actually serving right now?

Not the revenue goal. Not the metric. The deeper reason. If the numbers disappeared for a season, what would still make this worth building?

Write one sentence.

Where am I being asked to recommit, not restart?

What did I say yes to that feels heavier now than it did at the beginning? Where might the work simply be asking for steadiness instead of a new plan?

Name one place you are choosing to stay.

What part of this season is messy, and what would it look like to stop resisting it? 

What feels inconvenient, uncomfortable, or unfinished right now? If you stopped trying to clean it up and instead worked with it, what might change?

Write it down. Even if the answer is I do not know yet.

You do not need to solve all three today. You just need to tell the truth about where you are.

Because building something meaningful is not about having the cleanest answers. It is about having the courage to keep showing up in the middle of real life.

If you are in a season that feels heavy, complicated, or stretched thin, you are not doing it wrong.

You are in it.

Keep going.Take the next step. Stay committed.Be willing to get messy.

The rest has a way of finding its place when you do.

And if nothing else, know this. You are not the only one building in the middle of real life.

Elizabeth Mead, affectionately known as "EM," is an award-winning Tactical Strategist and a go-to consultant for organizations needing hands-on support in the trenches. When she's not crafting value-driven strategies, you can find her on her ranch, embracing what her husband calls "the pace of choice." It’s a lifestyle that reflects her love for solitude, the beauty of nature, sipping coffee from a rocking chair, riding quads with the kiddos, singing with her pal Joey, slow-cooking farm-fresh meals, and losing herself in a great book.